The Last Book I Read in 2019

“Private Parts” by Howard Stern

There’s only one movie that I can remember that has an opening so gross, that a great deal of people that aren’t familiar with what they are watching would turn things off immediately. That movie is “Private Parts”. The movie opens up with Howard Stern, played by Howard Stern, coming down from the rafters at the MTV awards butts out, and playing the iconic “Buttman”, and I am not kidding.

The movie was based on a 1993 book called, “Private Parts”, written by the shock jock (as they call him), and after watching the movie several times in the past, I wanted to read the book. Last night, I couldn’t sleep. Therefore it was time to crack open this book, and 4 hours later, I had finished the story that would become a standout look at Howard Stern and his world of radio, from small child to the 1990s break through.

The first thing that you should know is that Howard doesn’t have an immense vocabulary, and it feels as though his book is in character the whole time. In my head, I could hear Howard telling these stories to an editor or a tape recorder. That being said, this book flew by me, it was a breeze to get through, and I was jumping through sentences like I was reading a comic book. Perhaps it wasn’t necessarily the lack of intricate story telling, but rather the audience and their expectations most likely leads Stern’s writing style. It’s within the first chapter that you realize that Stern is definitely playing up to the character, not the person, at least he comes across that way in most of his retelling of stories.

Through the juxtaposition of honest writing and outside influence, you will find that the book follows the path of the movie, but jumps around quite a bit. While the linear storytelling of the movie is meant to capture a wider audience, the book is honed in on the audience that Stern already had, and then goes a little further to be absurd.

This can’t be real, right?

When reading “The Dirt” from Motley Crue, you get a sense for the unreal, and honestly, that’s what I got from Stern. Stern’s boring. His real life is boring, and he admits that. When he is not playing “Howard Stern”, trying to be funny, shocking the world with pushing the envelope, or just trying to be a goofball, he’s just a normal, average, guy.

The stories seem a bit tall to me, but then again, this is Stern and he came up during celebrity idol worship that did not have cameras, smartphones, or anything else going on. In fact, he even mentions a story with Donald Trump and how many women were all over him, even though he was married. Of course, no one cares about this juicy bit now, or then.

As far as the end of the year is concerned, I didn’t think that I would be reading Howard Stern’s first book, but there I was, sleepless in Indianapolis and reading the last book of my year. What did you read?

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